September has always been one of my favorite months.
Football starts. Fall is coming. The mornings start getting a little cooler. Everything just feels like it’s shifting into a new season.
But this September feels especially big because my boys are turning 13.
THIRTEEN.
Teenagers.
I’m really not sure how that happened. 😆
I know every parent says it, but the years seriously go so fast. Some of the days when they were little felt approximately 47 hours long 😂… and now I’m looking at two almost-teenagers wondering how we got here already.
And lately, it’s made me think a lot about how I want to spend these next few years with them.
I Don’t Want to Miss This Version of Them
Of course we’re celebrating their birthday.
There’ll be football, favorite foods, surprises, birthday stuff and probably way too much junk food.
But I want this birthday to mark something bigger too.
I want us to experience more life together.
Not because I think we need some Pinterest-perfect family adventure every weekend. We’re in football season. Half the time I’m just trying to remember where everyone’s supposed to be with cleats, mouth guards, and football gloves in tow (providing we haven’t lost ANOTHER pair) 😆
I just want to be more intentional about doing things together.
Trying new things. Going places. Learning stuff. Getting outside. Laughing. Making memories.
Because I’m realizing that staying connected to your kids as they get older looks different than it did when they were little.
And I want to learn this version too.
I’m Trying Not to Be Sad About How Fast It’s Going
Would I love to hear those little-boy voices again?
Absolutely.
I’d love to see the tiny shoes by the door and go back to one random ordinary day when they were five except this time I’d know just how temporary it all was.
But I also don’t want to spend so much time missing who they were that I miss who they’re becoming.
And if I’m being honest, I really really like getting to know this version of them.
They’re funny. They have opinions about EVERYTHING. 😂 Their personalities are getting stronger. Their interests are changing. They’re becoming more independent.
Thirteen isn’t just the end of one stage.
It’s the beginning of another one.
Five Years Sounds Crazy Short
This is the part I can’t stop thinking about.
If we use 18 as the marker, we have roughly five years before adulthood.
Five summers.
Five Christmases.
Five birthday months.
That sounds INSANE to me.
Obviously, I don’t think our relationship magically ends when they turn 18.
But this season where we’re all living under one roof and I can yell, “Everybody get in the car, we’re going somewhere!” isn’t going to last forever.
Instead of letting that make me sad, I want it to wake me up.
I can’t make time slow down.
But I CAN do more with the time we have.
I Want Us to Try More Things
This is where I’ve gotten a little obsessed lately. 😆
I want to expose the boys to things they might never think to try otherwise.
Blacksmithing.
Archery.
Rock climbing.
Wild caving.
Whitewater rafting.
Fishing.
Survival skills.
Woodworking.
Photography.
Cooking. (To be fair, Jaxon is a pretty good chef already!)
Maybe even goat hiking which I recently discovered is A THING, and obviously now we have to do it. 😂🐐(Booking this one soon!!)
They don’t have to become good at any of it.
They don’t even have to like it.
That’s kind of the point.
How do you know what you love if you’ve never gotten a chance to try it?
And I want them to learn that being a beginner isn’t something to avoid.
You can walk into a room having absolutely no idea what you’re doing and learn.
That’s such a huge life skill.
And Yes…This Is Also About Their Phones 😂
I’m not going to pretend screens aren’t part of this.
They absolutely are.
I can spend the next five years constantly saying, “Get off your phone.”
Or I can also ask:
What are we giving them on the other side of the screen?
Adventure.
Competition.
Being outside.
Trying something hard.
Laughing.
Traveling.
Making something with their hands.
Getting dirty.
Doing something that makes them forget about their phone for a while.
I’m not trying to raise teenagers who never want to be on their phones.
I just don’t want their phones to always be the most interesting thing available.
It Doesn’t Have to Cost a Fortune
This might be my favorite realization.
Creating experiences doesn’t mean constantly spending hundreds of dollars.
Some weekends might be free.
Go hiking.
Build a fire.
Go geocaching.
Cook something together.
Explore a town we’ve never been to.
Go fishing.
Have a photo challenge.
Let the boys plan the whole day.
Other times we might spend a little more on rock climbing, kayaking, an escape room or some kind of animal experience.
And every once in a while, maybe we do one of the BIG things.
I LOVE the idea of experiences becoming birthday or Christmas gifts as they get older.
They don’t always need more stuff.
Give them a story to tell.
Really, This Is About Connection
The more I think about all of this, the more I realize I’m not actually chasing activities.
I’m chasing opportunities to be together.
I can’t force my kids to sit down and tell me everything happening in their lives.
And honestly, what teenager would love THAT plan? 😂
But I can create opportunities to be beside them.
Driving somewhere.
Walking a trail.
Sitting around a fire.
Trying to figure something out together.
Laughing because whatever we attempted went completely sideways.
That’s when conversations happen.
Sometimes the best talks with your kids happen when you’re technically doing something else.
And I want more opportunities for those moments.
So I’m Calling This the 13th Year
I don’t completely know what this’ll turn into yet.
Maybe I’ll share some of our adventures here.
Maybe the boys will help choose what we try.
Maybe we’ll make a big list.
Maybe some things will be amazing and some will be complete disasters. 😂
I’m deliberately trying not to turn this into another project I have to perfectly execute, because that completely misses the point.
The goal isn’t checking things off a list.
The goal is living more of our life together.
So this year, I want to take the pictures.
And actually get IN some of them.
Say yes more often.
Let plans change.
Ask them what sounds fun.
Try things we’ve never done.
Laugh when it goes wrong.
And stop putting the things that matter into this imaginary place called someday.
Because their childhood isn’t waiting for a more convenient time.
It’s happening now.
Motherhood is happening now.
Our family life is happening now.
I can’t stop time.
But I can be here for it.
And that feels like a pretty good way to start their 13th year. 💛
