I’m Just a Girl, Learning

I have spent a LOT of years filtering myself.

Filtering what I said.
Filtering what I shared.
Filtering how I showed up.

And if I’m really honest, a lot of it came from feeling like I wasn’t good enough in many areas of life.

Not smart enough.
Not confident enough.

Not good enough at makeup.
Not good enough with fashion.
Not stylish enough.
Not polished enough.

So instead of just being myself, I filtered everything.

I second-guessed what I said.
I worried about how I looked.
I wondered what people would think.

And a lot of the time, I chose the safer version of me.

The quieter version.
The more careful version.

Because it felt easier to stay safe than to risk showing up fully as myself.

But lately something has shifted.

Maybe it’s getting older. (Turning 50 this year…holy sheet)
Maybe it’s the inner work I’ve been doing.
Maybe it’s realizing just how fast life actually goes.

Or maybe it’s simply the realization that this life we’re living… is meant to be enjoyed.

Whatever it is, I’ve decided something important.

I don’t want to filter my life anymore.

I want to enjoy it.

I want to take goofy photos and not worry about the angle or whether I look perfect.

I want to try new makeup and figure out what actually works for my skin.

I want to experiment with fashion and learn what fits my body instead of hiding behind the same safe outfits I’ve worn for years. (Hello leggings and hoodies. I see you.)

I want to take pictures of sunshine and flowers and random little moments throughout my day just because they make me smile.

I want to take care of myself in ways that feel good – skincare, health, mindset, all of it.

I want to read books that stretch my thinking.

I want to learn new hobbies and try things I’ve never tried before.

I want to travel with my family and see new places together.

And sometimes I want to travel by myself, too.

I want to see more of the world.

Experience new things.

Collect memories instead of just rushing through the days.

And I’m totally not an expert in any of it.

I’m not a makeup artist.
I’m not a fashion expert.
I’m not a skincare professional.

I’m just a girl, learning.

Learning what works for me.

Learning how to enjoy life more.

Learning how to stop overthinking every little thing.

Learning how to take up space in my own life without feeling like I have to apologize for it.

Learning how to laugh at myself.

Learning how to stop waiting for some future version of myself to start enjoying the life I already have.

Because the truth is, the life we’re living right now?

It’s the one we get.

And the more I allow myself to just be me, the more fun life becomes.

I notice the sunshine more.

I notice the birds, the flowers, the light coming through the windows.

I laugh more easily.

I take pictures of random things that make me happy.

I let myself be playful.

I let myself be curious.

I let myself enjoy things without feeling like I need to justify it.

And maybe that’s part of growing older.

You start realizing that life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly.

It’s meant to be lived fully.

So if you’re in a season of rediscovering yourself too, trying new things, letting go of old expectations, figuring things out as you go, I hope you give yourself permission to enjoy it.

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

You don’t have to be perfect.

You don’t have to be an expert.

You can just be a girl learning, too.

And I truly think that might be one of the most beautiful ways to live.

☀️ Sunshine is a mindset.
Live fully today.
Believe in the possibilities for tomorrow.